The streets are 'safe'

If you know me you know that I'm rarely negative, never judgmental and at times even a bit of a Pollyanna, but this weekend just pushed me over the edge: I've had it with the male attention I get simply for being a western woman in this country.  In China and other Asian countries, there's a fascination with my hair, eye and skin color.  But in Korea, it's a completely different look that all of my girlfriends and I get: one of licentious, entitled voracity.  The stares could be overlooked easily enough if it weren't for the lengths that some of these libertines are willing to go to to satisfy their pathetic desires. 

I'm still in shock -- and still feeling incredibly violated -- two days after having my first physical run-in with one of these rat-stink profligates.  I was walking alone looking for a convenience store when this obviously drunk man saw me and startled stumbling in my direction.  I sped up and avoided him to no avail: he gripped my arm and started pulling me along with him.  I struggled before I could break free of him and run -- literally run as fast as I could -- away from him.  There were other people around; I was on a well-trafficked street.  But I was still fair game.

As disgusted as I feel right now, my story doesn't even compare to those of two of my friends.  One girlfriend was standing outside of a convenience store when one of these frog wart dissolutes walked up behind her and grabbed her crotch.  She promptly turned around, kicked him in the shins and punched him while yelling, "That is NOT okay!"  He stood there confused until his friend saw what was happening, pulled him away and offered my girlfriend a paltry apology.  He just needed to get his friend away.  There was absolutely no concern for what had just happened to her.

The repugnance of another friend's experience shatters every other story you could possibly hear, though.  She was sunbathing this summer wearing modest shorts and a tube top that covered everything but her shoulders.  Suddenly, she heard something behind her and turned to see a man pleasuring himself to the sight of her.  She ran inside and locked her door, afraid to leave her apartment even in the middle of the day.  The situation only worsened when she found some of her clean underwear missing from her outdoor drying rack hours later; it had taken her that long to feel comfortable with going back outside.  The whole thing shook her up so bad that she was afraid to even be inside of her apartment alone for weeks.

And the attitudes of the men in this country sadly affect the way we women have to conduct our everyday lives.  Our clothing choices are limited to high-necked, full coverage tops and long skirts or shorts unless we want to draw even more negative attention.  Several friends have commented on how depraved they're made to feel when they wear something that would be considered completely acceptable for the classroom back home but that reveals too much western skin for Korea.  We can't even make eye contact with men, much less smile, unless we want to get propositioned with the low-voiced question we're all loathe to hear, "Russia?!"  Before now, this was all a bit of an annoyance that could often be laughed at, but now I'm angry.  It's a symptom of a very real evil in this country, and I'm tired of having to blow it off and not make a big deal out of it.  Because it is a big deal!

I thought that I knew sexism and harassment when I worked in politics, but nothing I experienced then could hold half a candle to the overall experience I've had here.  We women are not even seen as human; we're just bodies for them to grab, grope or worse.  And those that aren't grabbing are sitting idly by, doing nothing but perpetuating the behavior with their insouciance.  Because everyone knows about the karaoke rooms that double as hotel rooms and the massage parlors on every corner that offer much more than massages and the coffee women who deliver up themselves and the profession of every Russian woman in the Republic of Korea and the reason why husbands rarely ever make it home before 11:00 or midnight, if even then.  There isn't a single person who can claim innocence for the lechery in this country.  Not one person.

tags: korea  women  womensissues  issues